Peace of mind is following my kids lead to rehearse sight words and number flashcards.Peace of mind is non coerced efforts of on time “goodnight” routines.Peace of mind is feet kicked up & reclined with a glass of wine watching Good Burger on Netflix. For that I am grateful.I knew for some time that I wanted to write this post considering the experience overall has been heartfelt to me. As the windows rattle with sounds of autumn winds, timing is quite impeccable. Seasonal depression is very real and as I climb from my own personal despairs, I pray everyone aligns with the health and well wishes that I send in the exchange of reading this post.
The 5th of this month marks the end of a life long story and begins tales of chapters not yet told. Plainly stated, I bought my first house, it’s been a year and a majority of the homeowner “myths” are true. Generational cycles exist. I was raised in a home of matriarchs, phenomenal women, a lineage of independence. With every blessing, I’ve learned there is a lesson to be unpacked. As an only child and first mother to a son in my household, I knew something had to be different.
As if relocating wasn’t scary enough, leaving the only home I’ve ever known. Well aside from my short stint at Rowan University - I even came home after one semester. I guess having a child shifts perspective a bit. I really learned a lot about myself during the process of buying a home. Disclaimer, I by no means feel as though I owe anyone an explanation for my decision making. I will forever share my narrative with hopes that it encourages another individual to pursue their ideas and dreams. Below, in no particular order are my first takes on top share-worthy moments:
Noise
People love telling you how or what to do especially if they’ve never done it. Or try to talk you out of something as if you haven’t done enough overthinking already yourself. Typical right? When I say I made myself sick with the taunting negative thoughts that people have shared with me about the suburbs I’ve moved too. Literally, my reinforcement of seasonal depression on top of the routine home buyer procedures. Whew! Needless to say, I’m living to tell about it. But it is rather nerve-wracking.
Vision
My vision has been clear, my intentions remain pure and I am steadfast in prayer. When you are in tune and aligned with your purpose and diligently pursue your passions verily after difficulty comes ease. Now, I’m no guru or life coach extraordinaire I am speaking as an individual who reflects on the highs and lows of my experiences and move forward despite adversities. Really I am a dreamy Pisces, optimism is in my nature,
Relationships
Moving right along, I walked through this process primarily on my own. With a realtor, of course, other than that large part was all me. Hindsight, I would have considered the value of some of my relationships/friendships that could have been strengthened or reevaluated if I’d done things differently. Make sure you’re involving the right people at the right times. I just really had to do this for me and my kid. Nothing personal but everything was personal if a flower doesn’t bloom you have to change the environment it grows.
Pros
Regardless of all the secondary noisemakers (meaning besides myself sabotage), I felt the favor the universe lined up for me. After 2 denied offers (I even took a page from HGTV and wrote a nice letter lol lol), two 203K loans rejected and countless paperwork to be revised. FYI pertaining to my business RWD, everything came to close for the best. I was able to take advantage of NJ First Time Homebuyer Grant which covered all of my closing costs, fees and I received money back to begin furnishing my space. It sounds like a win to me! I have no malice toward the offers that fell through. I am cozy and content in my starter home (insert blushing emoji).
Grows
Listen, listen here’s the part where I share my downfalls. I wish I had a more thorough roof inspection, be sure to have an expert check behind the walls as well as general regulations. School systems I thought I had it figured it out, but there’s more work to do. Get to know your neighbors. Legit people had me thinking I was headed for “Get Out,” everyone’s pretty cordial to me. Fingers crossed it stays that way lol. You deserve to take up space, even if it is a culture shift that means you’re doing meaningful work and the world needs more of that.
Seriously though, that’s really it, happiness is homemade and peace of mind is the real bag. I saw a post the other day about grinding to be seen versus grinding to disappear and I felt that! There’s no secret for making it easy, there is plenty of stress and paperwork. There is always a repair to be made and a bill to be paid. However it goes, having your own space is truly worth the experience.
Mama may have, papa may have, but God bless the child that’s got his own.” ~Billie Holiday
Deliberately yours,
Naadia J.